Forgive Them Anyway

Maybe it was a harsh word spoken toward you or about you.

Maybe it was a misunderstanding or a miscommunication.

Possibly rooted deep in insecurity, their words weren’t intended to cut so deeply. What was said was only spoken as a way to shield themselves from foreseeable moments of being uncomfortable.

Possibly buried beneath layers of past hurts is a person longing to feel acceptance. Their actions that felt painful to you have simply become a way to cope after years of feeling unwanted or unloved.

Whatever the case may be, the concern stems from you having been wronged. You have been mistreated. Something or someone is no longer a part of your life as you once knew. 

Actions and words have been exchanged in a hurtful, maybe even spiteful, manner. 

You are crushed. And you honestly have every right to be.

Forgive them anyway.

Forgive them when they ask for your forgiveness and when they don’t.

Forgive them even when they don’t even realize they’ve hurt you or they can’t fathom the pain they’ve caused.

They’ve said and done hurtful things. But none of that defines you. 

Who does God say you are? What does He think of you?

Ok, then. 
It’s settled.

So, since man’s opinion doesn’t last and God’s thoughts of you never change, that’s where focus should remain. 

Is forgiveness though? Absolutely.

This gross sin-nature we bare causes offense to be a reoccurring issue. It’s not a “one and done” thing. Forgiveness is complex. It’s complicated because the enemy is crafty. 

In Genesis 3, the serpent hisses lies in a manner that causes the very perfect nature of God to be questioned.

I believe that this is still Satan’s business. Doubt about one another’s well-meaning intentions is planted and soon turmoil erupts.

Family strife. Conflict within a friendship. Man, the enemy loves this stuff. And Christ-followers let it happen all for the sake of being deemed right in a situation.

Your feelings were hurt and your pride was injured because you really weren’t right. 

Get over it. Dust yourself off. Repent. And forgive.

A friend of mine laughingly says that I attribute most sin and wrong behavior to a person’s insecurities. She’s not wrong. I believe that the saying “hurting people hurt people” is true. I believe in an attempt to make oneself feel esteemed or important, many individuals choose to make others feel small.

Can I be really transparent and say that none of this is unfamiliar to myself or those I am close to?

There’s a revolving door to hurt that enters our lives. Those we care for dearly hurt us. Forgiveness is God’s answer to it every single time. 

The truth is, He made us all and delights in us (Psalm 18:19). There are often moments I can’t find anything to be delighted in about those who’ve hurt me or hurt anyone I dearly love. But the truth is, Christ in me is the only part of me worth delighting in.

So, when you feel excluded, forgotten and want to give up on even trying to reconcile and mend what once was: forgive them anyway.